To note that the video itself is called Dream
Posted as a blog entry on October 23rd, 2014.
So, I haven't been able to go back to sleep. I mean I'm used to having nightmares, I have them actually pretty regularly, but this one...this one I just couldn't shake, it really got to me. You know those dreams that just feel real, even though they're batshit insane?
It was me and my mom, and in this dream I'm a little girl, I'm like six years old, and I'm holding her hand sort of looking up at her... and we're in line for this ride at this, like, crazy carnival amusement park thing, and as we're getting closer to the front of the line I see that there's this ride operator guy, you know the guy controls everything and I can't see his face 'cause his back is turned to us, and just as I'm back to see his face, up rolls this car, this empty car and its our actual car. It's the one that my mom and I were in when she died. It's all banged up, the windows are broken the hood is caved in. And we climb in, I get into the passenger seat, mom gets into the driver seat, but there's no steering wheel. Like, where the wheel is supposed to be there is this slot machine, and mom sees it and she you know, puts your hand on the lever to start it, and I beg her not to, not to pull it. She looks over at me with these wide eyes. And I can like, feel her fear.
So she takes her hand off the lever but the ride goes anyway, and when I look up I see that it is this ride operator, he has his hand on lever, and he's the one who pulled it down. So the car starts to go and it goes into this tunnel and, and everything goes black and we start to go faster and faster into this tunnel, and I can hear my mom sort of screaming for me, and I'm screaming for her too, and I look over and I try to reach for her, but I I can't see. I can't see her, I can't see anything! So she's reaching out to me and I'm reaching out to her...but the car starts to shake because we're going so fast on this track that it's...we're going far too fast, and then all of a sudden there's just silence...we've gone off the rails, and we're just floating, and for second it actually feels... kind of nice! We're just floating there, and we look around. and we see... stars! And we're just...flying through space. And then all of a sudden, we start to nosedive and we just free fall, and I look over at my mom and I try to reach for her because she's already halfway out the window, and just as I'm about to grab her, she flies completely out the window, and I just continue falling! And I continue falling...until I wake up...
OK...well...guess i'll...try to go back to sleep...