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Posted on 24 March 2015

Rick James Funky06:20

Rick James Funky


- So, I had a feeling your place would be sparse. I was right, and I came prepared. Not that there’s anything wrong with being sparse. You’re a minimalist. Um, actually this is pretty cool. One of the most famous minimalist artists' name was Frank Stella. Frankly Stella, I don’t ... Anyway, so, I got groceries... Where’s your fridge?

- Um.

- Oh, you don't ... you don't have a fridge?

- No.

- Oh. Well, I hope you like ice cream. Do you like Cookie Dough? Because I ...

- Forgot to pick up your meds at the pharmacy on your way here?

- I like your place. It’s funky. Like Rick James funky, not like a funky smell. So, um, do you want your housewarming gift?

- Sure?

- Okay, “B.R.B.!”

- Okay? B.R.B.? Who says that? Oh my god. She should've asked if I had a fridge. This is disgusting.

- Okay, close your eyes!

- They are closed.

- OK, they're not closed.

- Okay.

- No, close your eyes!

- Okay, jeeze.

- They're not closed! Okay, don't peek.

- I'm not.

- Don't do it. Don't peek. Okay.

- Don't. Stop. Close --

- Okay, they're closed.

- Okay, open.

- That’s an odd way to deliver a plant.

- No, look. Come here.

- I mean, I don’t know anything about turtles.

- Neither do I, but, I mean, I figure we can just look it up on the interwebs, how hard could it be, right? I don't have to return her, do I?

- No. - 'Cause look at her.

- How do you know it’s a she? - I mean, come on.

- Oh, yeah, I see it. Look at that keen fashion sense. You want a mimosa? Or like an ... apple-tini? Is that a thing anymore?

- Yeah. Glad you like her.

- So, the reason I asked you here

- Because we’re sisters and you were worried about me.

- What do you know about Edward Pramik?

- Oh, got it. This is way more of a data exchange than a familial gathering.

- No, I didn't mean it like that, sorry.

- Don’t worry about it. It's fine. My mom... My mom and I don’t really talk about the past very much. I mean, I’ve tried, but it’s really hard for her, and eventually I just stopped asking. The past is what screwed her up, so ... ... I was really surprised she reached out to you, actually. Um, have you ever dealt with anyone who’s afraid to leave the house? Who's just like, so crippled by anxiety? One time I actually, um, I went away for a weekend and I came back and there was tarp nailed to all the windows. So, there's very few conversations my mom can handle without turning into a catatonic puddle.

- Well, you know, the information I want to know might actually help her.

- Okay, yeah, can we just... not turn this entire thing into an interrogation? I mean, there's stuff I want to ask you, but I'm not just jumping into it.

- No, I'm sorry, look, I didn't mean to... Well, what do you want to know? I'll tell you anything.

- That's not what I want.

- What?

- That's not what I want.

- Okay.

- I’m not forcing you into anything.

- Okay.

- And I know what you think, but our father didn’t kill himself.

- Is that the story your mom told you?

- She knew him a lot better than you did. And yeah, she’s probably mythologizing the guy quite a bit, but... according to my mom, he was the smartest man she’d ever met.

- He was absolutely brilliant, there's no doubt about that. And also, unfaithful. And really selfish.

- Well, he had some pretty serious flaws, but he didn't kill himself.

- You know, I think anyone's capable of killing themselves. I think certain circumstances can push them over the ledge, but most people don’t want to see that. Like your mom. She doesn’t want to face the fact that he left a great life for a shitty one with some groupie.

- Hey.

- And I think any man with a shred of compassion would be crippled under that guilt. I think you need to realize that maybe he's the monster in all this...

- Can you just stop? How about that? How about you just stop?

- Okay, I'm sorry.

- Just don't.

- So, do turtles like ice cream? Or ... like, cookie dough, or vanilla, or something else we can ...

- I mean, we could find out.

- I think we should, she's probably hungry.

- Yeah, she probably is, actually.

- I'll grab her.

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